Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes.
That way if he gets angry, he’ll be a mile away and barefoot.
Credit cards are like mosquitoes.
You can keep them away for a while, but sooner or later they will be back to suck your blood.
Gingerbread man is a perfect man, he’s cute, he’s sweet and if he gives you any heck, you can bite his head off.
Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room.
The first kid leans over and asks, “What are you in here for?”
The second kid says, “I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little scared.”
The first kid says, “You’ve got nothing to worry about.
I had that done when I was four.
They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It’s a breeze.”
The second kid then asks, “What are you here for?”
The first kid says, “A Circumcision.”
And the second kid says, “Whoa, Good luck, buddy, I had that done when I was born.
I Couldn’t talk or walk for a whole year!”