> name is and where he practices. I might even move if his practice is out of
> state.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this
> >true?
> >A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste them on
> >exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up the heart does not make you live
> >longer; it's like saying you extend the life of a car by driving faster. Want to live
> >longer? Take nap.
> >
> >
> >Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
> >A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means
> >they take water out of the fruit so you get even more of goodness that way.
> > Beer is also made of grain. Bottoms up!
> >
> >Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
> >A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have
> >two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
> >
> >Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise
> >program?
> >A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good!
> >
> >Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
> >A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Foods are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact,
> >they are permeated by it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?!?
> >
> >Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
> middle?
> >A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be
> >doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
> >
> >Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
> >A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It's the best
> >feel-good food around!
> >
> >Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
> >A: If swimming good for your figure, explain a whale to me..
> >
> >Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
> >A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
> >Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about
> >food and diets.
> >
> >And remember:
> >
> >Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
> >in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways -
> >Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up,
> >totally worn out and screaming "
what a ride!!" > >
> >AND.....
> >
> >For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and
> >health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional
> >studies.
> >
> >1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than
> >Americans.
> >
> >2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
> >
> >3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than
> >Americans.
> >
> >4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than
> >Americans..
> >
> >5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer
> >fewer heart attacks than Americans.
> >
> >
> >
> >CONCLUSION:
> >
> >Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you
