Man Rules

[two-bit]

Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story
( I must admit, it's pretty good)




We always hear

'the rules'
From the female side

Now here are the rules from the male side




These are our rules!

Please note... they are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!







1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one! Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself..

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have NO idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.


1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really!

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight;But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

[kaptnkaos]

Yeah !!! Two-bit those are rules I can live with... now, I just gotta find me woman who can live by 'em too...

[70shortwide]

my favorite one is # 1!
this one was good:
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

[bigredball90]

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
I liked this one. I got to my gf house and its her, her twin, and younger sister so if i forget i hear about it.

[Big Blue 72]

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

I love this!

Speaking from expericene though, it's best to keep ones mouth shut....or simply agree...

[RedneckTexan]

AMEN MEN! AMEN! #1 is thee best!

[Joshpow]

Rule # 1 is correct. If only gals could figure some of these out. However, we know they won't.

[71 LONG BED]

Those are rules to live by!!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

Maybe I'm weird...I thought the lid and the seat where on hinges so it all can be closed when whom ever is finished (man or woman) can close everything.
In our house we all close both. Keeps the dog and the baby out....